Not Daly!

The PGA have suspended PIMC-Blotter’s 2008 Golfer of the Year John Daly for six months because of his conduct over the year which included spending a night in jail after a very exciting trip to Hooters and a minor incident involving a fan's camera and a tree. Upon hearing of his suspension Daly responded with this quote: “[It’s] not fair in reality, but it's probably fair in perception." Ok, I guess.
(Photo: Reuters; source)

Urlacher’s Baby’s Mamma is a class act

The mother of Brian Urlacher’s son was arrested and was being held for contempt of court after she failed to make any payments on the $11 million judgment against her for making false sexual assault accusations against Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance. Seriously you tried to go after the Riverdance guy?

At the time of Tyna Robertson’s arrest, two children, a girl and Urlacher’s son Kennedy were present. The girl was being taken care of by a family member while Urlacher picked up his son on Monday morning.

This is just one blip in a long line of bad press for Ms. Robertson, mostly created by her. Earlier this year, she felt it point to alert the media that Urlacher allowed their son to wear pink diapers and paint his nails like his sisters. Because we all care that big bad Brian Urlacher has a soft side. And two years ago, the pair was ordered by a judge to go to parenting classes.

Isn’t it funny that people that should never procreate have tons of children and people that should procreate can’t even get pregnant? That must be some kind of knock on Darwin’s theory or something.
(source)

Say Uncle

A fan jumped out of the stands and tackled Junior Seau during the middle of the fourth quarter of the Patriot's 41-7 dismantling of the Cardinals on Sunday. 31-year-old Todd Kobus of Attleboro, MA was charged with trespassing and assault and battery for his insane actions.

Good call kid, go after the guy that’s like four times your size. A guy that has made a career out of smashing men the size of bulldozers into the ground so hard their bodies make imprints into the grass. “Death wish” is right!

Watch out Todd, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: Matthew Sweet/Boston Herald; source)

Truly a Rebel

Mississippi Men’s Basketball Coach Andy Kennedy was arrested early Thursday morning and charged with assault after he allegedly punched a 25 year old cab driver while shouting racial slurs. The victim reportedly incurred a swollen left face during the one sided affair. What did this kid do? Take you the long way to the hotel so he could charge you more money on something you would just expense later?

Along with Coach Kennedy, William Armstrong, Mississippi’s coordinator of basketball operations, was also arrested although his direct connection to the assault is not known.

Kennedy was scheduled to sit down with athletic director Pete Boone in a downtown Cincinnati hotel to discuss his future on Thursday, the same day the Rebels will take on Louisville. If it is decided that Kennedy should not coach, assistant Michael White will take over.

Well I guess Kennedy is coaching the right team if he is spending his down time beating up cab drivers and such.

Watch out Andy, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: Getty Images; source)

UPDATE: This story is getting saucy. Coach Kennedy has filed a law suit against his alleged victim for more that $25,000. In the suit he claims the statements made by the cab driver Mohamed Moctar Ould Jiddou defame his character and may make it difficult for him to get another head coaching job. Do you know something about your job security that we don’t?
(source)

The Magic of Drinking Too Much

I’ll admit every once and again when I driving home and it’s late at night and I’m stuck at a stop light and I’m the only car for miles, I think to myself, "If I ran this red light would it matter?" Of course I would run through the red light and then the popo would appear from the bushes and give me a ticket, which is the main reason why I’ve never done it, but I always ponder. And sometimes when I am running late and I see the light turning from green to yellow, I slam on the gas to beat the red light. I admit I’ve done that once or twice. But never have I driven through a gas station driveway to avoid a red light. But then again, I’ve also never driven home drunk. I know, such a square.

Something I learned from health class in 10th grade was that when you’re drunk, your thinking is sometimes impaired. Take for example Giants offensive lineman Kareem McKenzie. The big guy was pulled over in Little Falls, NJ on November 13th and charged with driving under the influence, reckless driving, driving with an expired registration and driving on private property to avoid a traffic signal. The popo said the dead giveaway was when they spotted McKenzie cutting through the Coastal Gas Station to continue on Main street. If it’s not driving too slow or weaving erratically it’s driving through private property to avoid the red light that will get you everytime. Kareem is expected to appear in Little Falls Municipal Court on Wednesday to answer to these charges.

But first Kareem, Watch out, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: giants.com; source)

Is that Coke in your system? Or are you just glad you won something?

I must have missed that part of drug education in the 10th grade that said cocaine could be used as performance enhancing drug. I always figured it would hinder your athletic ability, but there I go again being all naïve about drugs and stuff. Turns out, it can help you win things, like the giant slalom during the Italian junior championships.

Skier Mirko Deflorian was banned 18 months by the Italian Olympic Committee following a positive test for cocaine. The test was administered just a day after he had won the event. I guess maybe it was used during his post race celebration instead of before his big win. In any event, the 28 year old with have a year and half to get back on the straight and narrow if he wants to beat up on the kids at the junior meets. Anyone else find if funny that the Italians allow people over the age of 21 to compete in junior meets?

Watch out Mirko, because the popo are on your tail!

(source)

Gee thanks, like banks really need to deal with this crap

Like we’re not suffering enough from defaulted mortgages by well intentioned but in the end over-their-head barrowers, we get asses who are taking advantage of the very frail banking systems. Guys like former Kentucky basketball star Dirk Minniefield who was recently charged with one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud and eight counts of wire fraud as a part of a $10 million scheme in the Houston area.

The indictment alleges Minniefield was a real estate agent in fraudulent home loans designed to secure payments for expensive upgrades that were never performed. The indictment says he represented buyers even though he never met them and they never visited the properties they were supposedly buying.

Minniefield also is accused of contacting the sellers' agents to propose language that would increase the sales prices of homes by including a substantial payment for the renovations.

If found guilty, he faces up to 20 years in jail and a fine of up to $250,000. Plus the government would like that $10 million he and three other illegally obtained.

Hmm...maybe congressmen from Texas need to be more concerned about schemes like these and less about the BCS.

Watch out Dirk, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: bigbluehistory.com; source)

Your mamma was not kidding

Remember when you’re mother told you, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” It seems 16 people in England failed to get the message, after yelling racist and homophobic chants towards Portsmouth defender Sol Campbell in September. Too bad they didn’t keep their big mouths shut, because the popo have come a calling. They have reportedly taken a 28 year old man from Ringwood, Hampshire into custody and intend to find the other 15 foul mouthed football fans.

"Our inquiry is aimed at identifying and putting before the court those individuals who engaged in unacceptable behavior at this public event.

"Their abuse caused distress to some supporters and was targeted at an individual.

"We want to send a clear message that abuse of this kind will not be tolerated and that we are taking robust action,” said Superintendent Neil Sherrington.

Under the Football Offenses Act 1991, any fan can be punished with a fine of up to 1,000 pounds and or be banned if they are caught yelling anything indecent or racist at a football match.

Judging from my many sporting event experiences, I don’t think the US has any such laws!

Watch out foul mouthed loses, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

Laptops can be just as bad as Facebook

Former NHLer Jere Karalahti was found guilty in a Finnish court and fined $1,900 for drug use in 2007. Karalahti was caught when a photo on a friend’s laptop revealed a white powdery substance in his nose. He must have had a terrible lawyer, if he was getting pinned off of a photo. It could have been any number of things, a smashed up Tylenol, powdered sugar, cocaine. But unfortunately Jere was just too darn drunk to remember the night, or so his statement said and therefore was unable to properly defend himself.

But alas, this is just a small blip on his criminal filled radar screen, which includes a drug trafficking charge (which he’s awaiting an appeal on his sentencing).

However, you may remember Jere from his stint in the NHL, which came to a close in 2002 after his third violation of the league’s substance abuse policy. Gee, never would have guessed a guy that got caught so often in the NHL would ever get arrested and thrown in jail on drug charges. Oh, wait, I totally saw that one coming.

Watch out Jere, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

A Reminder to Plaxico Burress

You know the great thing about football contracts, Plax, they’re not guaranteed. So if you’re dumb enough to carry an unlicensed concealed weapon and then shoot yourself with it, your team, say the New York Giants, can cut your ass and never have to pay you a cent. Especially since they continue to win without you on the field.

But for whatever reason, they’ll continue to pay you for the remainder of the season, even though you’ll be physically unable to play for a bit, but come February, after the Super Bowl has been played, don’t be surprised if the team decides to ship you out like they did with Jeremy Shockey, who only complained about his time with the Giants, he never allegedly did something illegal. Or maybe they’ll just cut you outright, if you’re odd behavior continues, because frankly if the Giants continue to roll past their opponents like they have these past 11 out of 12 weeks, I don’t see a reason for them to keep you around.

So the next time you feel the need to pack heat because the amount of bling you’re wearing seems like an open target to the patrons at the Latin Quarter, step back from the situation and think to yourself, is it worth it? Because I’m sure Michael Vick will tell you, nothing this petty is worth losing your football career and your freedom.

Watch out Plaxico, because the popo are on your tail!

(Photo: Jeff Zelevanksy/Getty Images)

Aussie Swimmer may want to think about taking up Boxing for 2012

Australian swimmer Nick D’Arcy pleaded guilty to charges of recklessly causing grievous bodily harm in connection with his assault on fellow swimmer Simon Cowley in a bar on March 30th. The incident cost D’Arcy a spot in the Beijing Olympics and maybe some of his free time depending on his sentencing.

According to D’Arcy’s lawyer the story went a little something like this:

"It is true that there was a physical altercation between Simon Cowley and my client whereupon, without any warning, Simon Cowley slapped my client to the face. Cowley then, intending to introduce himself, approached my client, shortly thereafter, and my client, fearing another strike, responded by punching Cowley to the face."

What a horrible way to introduce yourself. "Slap you're it. By the way, I'm Simon." The only way that works on TV is if you’re Linda Evans on Dynasty.

Cowley received five titanium plates fitted for facial fractures to his jaw, eye socket, hard palate, cheek bone and nose as a result of D’Arcy’s handy work. Honey, I think you’re in the wrong sport. If your hands are basically lethal weapons, you may want to give boxing a try for the London games in 2012. Maybe you’ll have better luck making the team. Call it practice or something.

D’Arcy has maintained his innocence, claiming self-defense, all-be-it using excessive force, but honestly he didn’t mean to kick this kid’s ass. He is currently awaiting his sentencing trial in February and faces a maximum of 10 years in prison.

Watch out Nicky, because the popo are on your tail!

(Photo: Herald Sun; source)

Christian Schools are dangerous

Just ask Michael Buster. Mikey was visiting Charleston Southern University earlier in the month when he was robbed at gun point TWICE in three days. The second incident involved four CSU football players who have since been charged in connection with the armed robbery.

Buster was seated in the car with Riana Bishop, waiting for Andrew Hall, the owner of the car, to finish class. All of sudden, two men got into the back seat of the car. One of them, Ronald Blander, who was wearing a ski mask, allegedly demanded cash, while the other Samuel Baptiste held a gun to Buster’s head. The pair then forced Buster to drive to the nearby Atlantic Palms apartments where they made off with about $30. Seriously, you’re going to get your ass thrown in prison for 10-15 over $30 in cash. Dude, you could have robbed some kid at the ATM with a Butterfinger and gotten more than $30!

Oh wait, maybe you already robbed some kids at the ATM two days before. You see the first incident for Buster happened when he was sitting in the exact same car with Andrew Hall. (You know the guy he was waiting for during the second attack.) Seems two men knocked on their window and demanded the pair drive them to an ATM. When they got there, the two soon to be convicts robbed Buster and Hall and took off.

Students at the Christian school aren’t particularly shocked by the news, especially since this isn’t the first armed robbery on campus this semester.

"It's not really surprising, a lot of people might think it's surprising because it's a Christian school, oh, they're protected from all that stuff, but I mean, we're still in the world like everybody else," Bentley Christmas, a CSU student athlete said.

Earlier in the year, a student was robbed at gunpoint in his Russell Mills dormitory. The alleged perpetrator was a former student.

CSU’s football coach Jay Mills said he was very disappointed in his players, who have since been suspended by the school.

Two other football players, Zachery Hillery and Tyrone Lattimore are said to have been involved with the on campus robbery.

Remind me to avoid North Charleston.

Watch out Sammy, Ronnie, Zach and Ty, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photos: Post and Courier; source)

Well this will put a damper on buying the Cubs

If his loud mouth dancing queen persona wasn’t enough, this whole insider trading thing will probably prevent Mark Cuban from buying the Chicago Cubs. Although when you’re dealing with the SEC, I doubt the Cubs are prominently placed on your mind.

According to the civil lawsuit filed on Monday by the Securities and Exchange Commission, Cuban allegedly used insider information to avoid a loss of more than $750,000 by selling his stake in Mamma.com Inc.

If Martha Stewart can be a lesson to anyone, it’s that a $750,000 loss is better than six months lost at Camp Cupcake when you’re worth double the GDP of Belize.

Watch out Mark, because the popo are on your tail!
(Source; Photo: AP/Bill Haber)

John Daly adds to his legend

I’m sorry, but Tiger Woods kind of bores me. And do you know why? Because he doesn’t smoke on the course. Because he's more likely to end up Oprah than on say Country Fried Home Videos. Because he's probably hanging out with Justin Timberlake right now and not Kid Rock. And he damn sure will probably not get thrown in the drunk tank after having too much fun at Hooters. No Tiger Woods is too busy going to corporate affairs, baseball games and charity events to go down to the local Hooters and enjoy the hot wings or whatever.

Oh, but not John Daly. He apparently had all the time in the world to go over Winston-Salem’s finest eatery, get so drunk that he passed out, scaring the scantily clad help who called for medical help, which he refused before being taken to the Forsyth County Law Enforcement Detention Center for a 24 hour stay to sober up. And that my friends is why I love John Daly!

Oh but John, Watch out, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

Things not to say in an airport

1. This bomb in my bag sure is heavy

2. Don’t you just love my new Osama is my Homeboy shirt?

3. It’s amazing what you can do with a razor blade these days.

4. Ricky Williams gave me that as present from his trip to Amsterdam.

5. Whatever U.S. Amateur winner Danny Lee said to get his ass detained in a New Zealand airport.
(source)

Glad I’m not living in China

As I continually mention, I’m from New Jersey. One thing New Jersey does well, besides gravity defying spiky hair, unnatural orange glow and taylor ham is corruption. Even the Garden State doesn’t deal with public officials like China. No instead of throwing them into ladies prisons (minimum security country club jails not actual ladies prisons) like we do in New Jersey or you know re-elect said official (because this isn’t Washington DC) China assigns the death penalty. Yeah that’s right, you do one small tiny little thing like take $1 million in bribes for favorable contract awards related to development of Beijing for the Olympics and you get sentenced to death….well a suspended death sentence, if that makes it any better.

A former Beijing vice mayor in charge of overseeing Olympic construction projects has been given a suspended death sentence for corruption.

The Intermediate People's Court in Hengshui, a city outside Beijing, delivered the sentence Saturday after finding Liu Zhihua guilty of taking bribes.

At the time of Liu’s bribe taking, he was in charge of urban development in Beijing overseeing the $40 billion the city spent on Olympics-related infrastructure. But then things got a little hairy. He apparently was pocketing $1 million for himself and then was setting up his mistress for life as well.

Liu faced 10 charges for allegedly accepting bribes totaling about $1 million and gifts in return for favors to property development companies while he was vice mayor

Liu was also convicted of helping his mistress, Wang Jianrui, profit from construction projects.

Liu of course is claiming this is some sort of set up. That a company that did not receive a contract from his office is upset and trying to bring him down.

Liu claimed in court that the case was an act of retaliation by a property developer who wanted to have Liu removed because of a dispute over a commercial and residential development across the street from several Olympic venues.

Unhappy over the outcome, the building's developer sought to punish Liu by reporting his extramarital affair and other alleged improper dealings to authorities.

This is so the plot of movie. Kind of like Broke Down Palace but hopefully not as frustrating. I mean who signs something like a confession written in a language you don’t understand, Kate Beckinsale? And then who decides that they’d rather rot in a third world country’s jail and let their moronic friend who signed said confession go free, Claire Danes? And if I’m giving away the ending, well consider yourself lucky that you didn’t sit through 2 hours of that crap!

Watch out Liu, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

My favorite part of the TCU/BYU Game

...When the students got arrested.

(Photo: Getty Images)

Good News, Mr. Canseco, It’s A Girl!

Jose Canseco was detained by boarder patrol for almost 10 hours after a search of his vehicle uncovered fertility drugs, human chorionic gonadotropin, which is illegal for males without a prescription. (Apparently the stuff helps produce testosterone lost in steroid users.) His popo enforced hold up occurred at the San Ysidro boarding crossing on Thursday. What is this research for book number 3, Arrested?

While Mr. Canseco has yet to be charged,

a spokeswoman for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, Virginia Kice, said Canseco was ordered to appear in federal court in San Diego "related to an alleged smuggling violation"

Watch out Jose, because the popo are on your tail!

(source)

Underage Drinking: A National Concern

It’s been a hell of a two months for the University of Northern Iowa and they have decided to do something about it. In less than eight weeks members of the football, men’s basketball, men’s track, softball, baseball and women’s swimming teams have been picked up by the popo, including a windfall during the weekend of September 13th when 14 athletes were charged with underage drinking.

“We had a bad weekend last month with some underage drinking and we are responding to it with suspensions, as well as community service.”

Apparently kids get quite rowdy when there is no football.

Along with the underage drinking, there have also been arrests for DUI, possession of drug paraphernalia and good old theft culminating in two guilty pleas and counting.

Watch out athletes of UNI, because the popo are all over your tails!
(source - and yes, I totally stole that title from an episode of "It's Always Sunny")

The Paddywagon

Hop inside my new favorite cons:

Mystery of the broken water pipe to remain unsolved [Fannation]

Mohawks are apparently inappropriate for school-aged children [Big League Stew]

Pete Rose arrested? No not that Pete Rose! [WDBJ7]

Willie D. Clark was indicted on charges related to the murder of Denver Bronco Darrent Williams [Fox Sports]

This one's for my brother: Nate Miles could be back at UConn [AOL Fanhouse]

Who knew south bend was such a haven for crime [Rumors & Rants via Awful Announcing]

How did I miss this? Tony Stewart hosted a "jail and bail" charity event [From the Marbles]

When did cheerleading become theatrical? [The Big Lead]

Moron of the day: Witnesses identify truck used in a bank robbery by Earnhardt, Jr. sticker. [Orlando Sentinel]

Well at least he wasn’t caught at a strip club

Just when I thought I would have lead with another Plaxico Burress incident (yes sir, you do have to pay for rental car damage) Adam (nee Pacman) Jones goes ahead and makes my day! Adam allegedly got into a little tussle with his bodyguard Tommy Jones at a Dallas Hotel early Wednesday morning. Some bodyguard, dude, you’re supposed to protect Jones, not get beat up by him. The pair reportedly did some damage to the bathroom, like breaking some mirrors, which is seven years bad luck and they also skipped out on the bill. (Once again wealthy people, you do actually have to pay for things!)

A source refutes this claim saying that Jones was indeed at the Joule Hotel, kicking back with a lady friend and two body guards. One of the bodyguards left and was replaced by a couple of friends and the rapper Ludacris. The group was apparently drinking at the time, but since he’s of age, that’s not really a crime.

Jones’ bodyguard has failed to file charges and there have been no arrests but this latest event could get Jones kicked out of the League for good. You see, Roger Goodell has a five and done policy and this has got to be incident number seven or eight! The only positive in this case is that it happed at a hotel and not a strip club and there were no guns involved. See Mr. Commissioner, he’s trying to change his ways, he’s hoping to become a better person, if has to literally beat that point into you.

Watch out Adam, because the popo are on your tail.

(Photo: AP; source)

You can’t cha-cha you’re way out of this one

Two time Indianapolis 500 winner Helio Castroneves is in some seriously deep poop after allegedly failing to pay Uncle Sam from 1999-2004 through a well planned scheme that diverted $5 million of his estimated $6 million in earnings to a Panamanian company named Seven Promotions. Under this alleged plot to avoid paying the government, a "deferred royalty plan" was set up which "required Penske to send the payment to a company in the Netherlands.” Because that’s not shady at all.

Castoneves, along with his sister Katiucia and business manager Andy Miller are looking at charges ranging from conspiracy to tax evasion, which carry up to a 35 year prison sentence for the Castoneves siblings and 20 years for Miller.

A lesson to be learned from all of this was eloquently stated by U.S. Attorney Alex Acosta:

"Whether you make a living parking cars or racing them, paying taxes is a responsibility that everyone shares."

Apparently, this was not a view shared by the “Dancing with the Stars” champion and his crew.

Watch out Helio, Katiucia and Andy, because the popo are on your tail!

(Photo: The Hollywood Gossip; source)

UPDATE: TMZ.com is reporting that Castroneves pleaded not guilty to tax evasion charges. The driver apparently cried throughout the hearing, where he was shackled and was forced to surrender his passport.

The Paddywagon

While you were playing golf during your house arrest, Willem Wasserman, these other people were dealing with their own run-ins with the popo:

One court case down...one more to go [Fannation]

Speaking of the Notre Dame party bust, here are the mug shots – Note to possible arrestees, smile in your mug shots, you want to look back at the photo and think, well at least I looked cute when I got arrested. [The Smoking Gun]

Leave Mr. Met out of it. If you're going to beat somebody, go for Carlos Beltran or Aaron Heilman. [Can't Stop the Bleeding]

I watched an episode of The Sopranos once and if I learned anything from that hour of televsion, it's that you don't mess with the mob. [Fannation]

If you can't beat them...beat them [Unprofessional Foul via Awful Announcing]

Operation Puerto was a success...you know, if you were a cyclist that used performance enhancing drugs [ESPN]

and now a word from our sponsors…

Annoying announcer: Omar Minaya, you’ve just been given a four year contract extension as the GM of the New York Mets. What are you going to do now?

Omar Minaya: Get rid of Ambiorix Burgos!

Director: Cut! Minaya, you’re supposed to say that you’re going to Disney World

OM: I know, but this guy was just accused of hit-and-run in the Dominican Republic.

D: I know, but this is supposed to be a light and fluffy commercial.

OM: I get that, but this guy allegedly killed two women. Add to that his assault case which is still pending in the US and that elbow surgery and there’s no reason to keep him around.

D: Seriously, you should save that kind of doom and gloom for you’re Coney Island commercial. “Remember the old Coney Island of your youth? The rides, the small businesses, Nathans? Well Nathans is still here, but everything else has been torn down to make way for big business and expensive high rises. We’ve gotten rid of the little people so you don’t have to be bothered by them.”

OM: Or when I blow up Shea.

AA: Aren’t they disassembling Shea, not blowing it up?

D: No, they did that last Sunday when they lost to the Marlins…again.

AA: Oh, that’s right.

OM: Don’t remind me.

D: So can we do this again?

OM: Sure, after I get rid of Burgos. I don’t want to have to deal with any more possible felons. We have enough problems when we try to bring back the ’86 team for special events.
(Photo: Getty Images; source)

because child support is not cheap

My favorite and possibly your actual baby daddy Travis Henry was busted by the popo for trying to buy cocaine. Henry has been on an extended vacation since being cut by the Broncos on June 7th, when Coach Mike Shanahan questioned Henry’s commitment to the team. Well running a drug cartel can be time consuming.

Henry and his friend James Mack had actually been set up by the popo. Seems the pair had been involved in an elaborate drug dealing business that spread to Montana, where a car was pulled over by the popo in September. The car was carrying six pounds of marijuana and three kilograms of cocaine, when a passenger in the car told the authorities he was being paid $5,000 by Henry to transport the $63,600 worth of goods. That same unnamed passenger worked with authorities on the October setup of the former NFL star and his business partner in the Denver suburb of Centennial, CO.

If convicted Henry and Mack could spend life in prison and face a $4 million fine.

Henry had signed a five year, $22.5 million contract in 2007, but lost a chunk of the funds after being cut. With his nine kids to support, a man’s got to do something to pay those child support bills.

Watch out Travis and James, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: CBS4 Denver; source)

Someone had a bit too much grog

On a warm July night, PNC Park hosted more action in the stands than on the field as the Pirates most likely produced another subpar outing and two West Virginia basketball players were detained by the popo for their drunken misbehavior. On Tuesday, the pair of Joe Mazzulla and Cam Thoroughman owned up to their actions, pleading guilty to disorderly conduct and public intoxication and were fined $100 each. Good thing the NCAA allows athletes to work minimum wage jobs because otherwise I don’t know how they (or maybe which alumni) would pay the fine.

Mazzulla, who was originally charged with aggravated assault, hindering an arrest and underage drinking and Thoroughman, who was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and underage drinking were graciously granted the opportunity to plead to a lesser charge, which they did. It is unknown how the University plans to deal with this latest stain, but it is said it will be “handled internally”

What exactly does that mean? Do they run more laps? Do they actually have to attend class and maybe write a paper? Do they have to teach little children to play basketball at 7 on a Saturday morning? Or they just get yelled at, thrown their practice jerseys and take the court? I’m going with the latter.

Watch out Joe and Cam, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: Metro News; Source)

The Paddywagon

Giants player top today's headlines:

Danny Ware proves why you should never drink and walk? [Fannation via ProFootballTalk]

Plaxico Burress may have more headaches off the field than on [North Jersey]

Fantasy football is geting too dangerous [Naple News via Busted Coverage]

Note to those with restraining orders, phone calls do count [ESPN]

There's a reason why people don't wear Fresno State gear [Sports by Brooks]

You can always count on John Daly to make you feel better about yourself [Fannation]

Weekend Round-Up

As you know, I’ve been on vacation for the past couple of days, and as I return back to the wonderful worldwide web, I found a couple of great stories that are a few days old, but frankly too funny (as in you’re a complete moron haha kind of way) not to comment on.

Several Oregon football players were involved in a speed-racing related crash early Thursday, sending two players to the hospital. Freshman QB Darron Thomas and sophomore receiver Jamere Holland were passengers in the Ford Mustang while teammate Eddie Pleasant was at the helm when the incident happened. Thomas was said to have suffered only a bruised elbow and could have been available to play in Oregon’s Saturday game while Pleasant and Holland were taken to a local hospital. Pleasant needed 75 stitches to close a 1-inch gash, but that wasn’t the worst part of the accident, he also was charged with reckless driving and speed racing. Watch out boys, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

Meanwhile USC will have to fill the place of recruit Maurice Simmons after he was sentenced to four years in jail for felony robbery, assault with a firearm and the misdemeanor of allowing someone to bring a gun into his car. A probation office had asked the court to sentence Simmons to probation, but the court thought felony robbery was a bit too serious of a crime to let him walk, even though he had a football scholarship. Too bad, the kid had an opportunity to make something of himself and he let it get away. Watch out Maurice, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

And finally, the Bluegrass Beat is reporting that Kentucky football player Ashton Cobb was arrested on Friday and was absent from the Wildcat’s game against Western Kentucky on Saturday. Apparently Cobb suffers from the Kelvin Sampson disease of calling and texting people excessively, like about 19 times too many. Cobb’s ex-girlfriend wasn’t a huge fan of the threatening voice messages he was leaving her and relayed them to the local authorities who in turn arrested his ass. Next time, just text something nasty to the campus gossip blog ala Blair Waldrof, otherwise Ashton, you’ll have the popo on your tail!
(source)

Look who is out of jail

Besides the fact that the Mets choked for the second straight season, the highlight of Sunday’s festivities for me had to be that Dwight Gooden citing. As I sat on my couch watching Keith Hernandez, Ron Darling and Gary Cohen interviewing Darryl Strawberry during a rain delay, I began to wonder if Doc was out of the pen. You see, Dwight was locked up during the 2006 celebration of the 1986 team and was unable to attend the game. However, it seems Gooden is free man now. For how long, who knows, but as of 10: 45 this morning he’s yet to be sent back to prison.
(Photo: AP)

Just when I was getting started...

...I go on vacation. While I may be on holiday, the popo are not, so stay on the straight and narrow, or I'll be blogging about you on Monday!

The Paddywagon

Fasten your spleens, here are today’s links:

Tough times for USC’s Shareece Wright. First he’s arrested at a going away party and now he’s out with a hairline fracture in one of his vertebrae [ESPN]

Out of the line-up since September 6th, Penn State's stoners are allowed to practice [Fannation]

Busted Coverage gives a round-up of arrests from this weekend including a story about the Raiders-Bills Game [WVIB]

See, now this is what happens when you’re named in the Mitchell Report, deny your involvement and then sue everyone in sight. You stop getting invited to things. [Deadspin]

Self-defense? How big was this cat? [The Daily News]

It’s prison day for Tim Donaghy [ESPN]

Somebody robbed Dylan's. What the frak? Is nothing sacred anymore? [The Daily News via CityFile]

Sticky Finger Sallys get arrested

Remember last week when I reminded everyone to hold off on taking any mementos from Yankee Stadium? Holding of taking any signs, pieces of the outfield wall (although some of the White Sox didn’t heed that warning as seen in this picture), a seat or two, a bench from the bleachers a monument from Monument Park. I warned you guys. And still more than a dozen of you did not take it to heart and instead paid a visit to the local jail for stealing pieces of Yankee Stadium. That’s right; possession of stolen property is not a pretty tidbit to add to your resume.

So for all those fans heading to Shea this week in what could be the final week of Shea Stadium, if the Mets continue on their disastrous course, bring home a program or a souvenir cup, but leave everything else in the stadium or the popo will be on your tail!
(source)

Incredibly Sad

Minnesota men's basketball suffered a major loss on Sunday morning. The 19 year old nephew of its coach Tubby Smith, was stabbed to death during a fracas at an off-campus apartment. William L. Smith, a Becker College student, was stabbed once in the chest during the fight which began in the apartment before moving outside.

“We lost a special young man last night,” Tubby Smith said in a statement released by the school. “The grieving process will take some time for my brother and his family, but I know that they appreciate and will need all the support.”

The popo said a weapon has been recovered from the scene but as of this post, no arrests had been made in connection with the murder. Don’t get too cocky, stabber, because the popo will be on your tail!

(source)

The Paddywagon

As we all said goodbye to Yankee Stadium on Sunday night, I think I’ll miss moments like these the most:



(Warning: You may want to listen to this clip with headphones on)

Too bad Rutgers’ QB couldn’t use his feistiness against the other team [Fannation]

Drinking + acting like an idiot in public = suspension [Des Moines Register via Ben Mailer]

Mitchell Report 2.0 [AOL Fanhouse]

I love a good tasing story to start the morning and if there’s video involved, even better. [Bugs & Cranks]

Chelsea fans got a bit overzealous [Fannation]

Maybe Kassim Ouma can use his boxing skills in jail. [You Been Blinded]

A Donna Martin graduates moment crossed with the Vikings love boat results in fatal consequences for a teen [Palm Beach Post via Ben Mailer]

Notre Dame celebrates loss with beer and the popo

41 people were arrested on misdemeanor alcohol charges early Sunday as the popo raided a party at a South Bend home. Among those charged were Notre Dame tight end Will Yeatman and center Mike Golic, Jr., (yes, that Mike Golic, Jr. the son of radio host and former NFL player Mike Golic, Sr.) along with members of the Notre Dame lacrosse and soccer teams. The arrestees were taken to St. Joseph County jail but it is believed that Yeatman and Golic were not still present in the jail as of Sunday evening.

Yeatman could be facing steeper charges after he was arrested in January and charged with driving drunk on a campus sidewalk. Prosecutors agreed to drop the criminal recklessness charge on the condition that Will stay out of trouble for one year. I’m guessing being arrested for underage drinking does not constitute staying out of trouble. And by the way, how do you drive drunk on a campus sidewalk? Was he on a mopede, too?

University spokesman said that he was made aware of the situation but did not say whether the school intended to punish any of the athletes involved.

The incident happened after the Irish returned to campus following a 26-7 loss to Michigan State in East Lancing.

Watch out Will and Mike, because the popo are on your tail!
(photo: irishmax.com; source)

UPDATE: Awful Announcing has video of Mike Golic addressing the situation on his morning talk show "Mike & Mike"

The Paddywagon

Here are a few links to get you through the weekend:

Jamar Smith gets an ankle monitor. How Tracy Jordan of you. [ESPN]

Apparently someone was having engine troubles and needed to steal like three of them to get their car going. [Fannation]

The onion points out Pacman Jones’ lastest snafu [The Onion via Hot Clicks]

Our newest favorite QB is now off the team. Too bad. [ESPN]

Speaking of off the team, Leon Patton will have some free time on his hands thanks to his latest charge. You know they don’t treat child abusers well in jail, Leon! [SI]

Don’t Mess With the Popo

A Red Star Belgrade fan was sentenced to 10 years in jail on Friday after being found guilty of attempted murder. Uros Misic, 20 used a flare to attack a member of the popo during a Serbian first division match last December. The attack was so vial it qualified for attempted murder instead of the usual assault.

"The assault was also completely unprovoked and…Trajkovic was fighting for his life out there. The punishment is fitting and it is a message that there will be zero tolerance for such acts," judge Velimir Lazovic remarked.

According to the reports Misic inflicted multiple burns tothe surface of Nebojsa Trajkovic’s body and later tried to force the flare down the poor man’s throat. The officer fired shots into the air in self-defense. How deranged must one person be to committ such an act?

Two other fans who were involved in the incident Milos Zimonja and Slavisa Drakul were convicted of violent assault and sentenced to up to one year in jail.

Watch out Uros, Milos and Slavisa, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

they tried to make me go to rehab...

Former England soccer stud Paul Gascoigne is suspected to have had another run in with the popo. (As of 10 AM/est the Nothumbria popo were not confirming the identity of their detainee.) This time he was said to have been arrested after an incident involving a photographer outside of the Metz Experience Pub. Well it’s been a tough time for a lot of Mets fans, I can understand his issues.

Photos were later published of the 41 year old banging on doors and windows for 20 minutes before eventually trying to use his own keys to gain entry into the pub for an early morning drink. Unsuccessful, he moved onto a liquor store to quench his thirst. Ok, now we’re in Amy Winehouse territory.

This is just the latest incident in a string of problems for the former Tottenham and Lazio soccer player. In February he was detained at the Hilton Hotel because he was acting like a “potential menace.” He followed that incident up with his best Joker impression at the Malmaison Hotel just a few hours later. Apparently, people weren’t getting it and said they instead felt “threatened.” I wonder if he’ll be roommates with Winehouse in rehab or cellmates with Blake Civil-Fielder in jail first.

Watch out Paul, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: NNDB; source)

Jessica Fletcher would be proud

The mystery of the suspended Penn State football players has been solved after University popo filed misdemeanor charges against Maurice Evans and Abe Koroma. It seems the rumors of pot possession were true.

On September 2nd, the popo were called into the players’ apartments after there were complaints of loud noise. When the popo looked around, they found “three small clear plastic baggies containing marijuana” and a “burnt roach” in Evans’ room and a “burnt roach” in Kormona’s room. Here’s a suggestion kids, there's no need to crank it up to 11. Sometimes 7 is just fine.

The pair was notified of the charges via snail mail and will most likely be playing football games via Playstation for the near future. Evans and Koroma have been on indefinite suspension since September 6th.

Watch out Maury and Abe, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

The Paddywagon

Here are the links for the day:

Former Richmond tennis coach was hit with child porn charges. I'm guess that's why he's the former Richmond tennis coach. [ESPN]

Jonathan Casillas learns you cannot ride your moped while intoxicated [AOL Fanhouse via The Big Lead]

You may want to hold off on taking any mementos home from Yankee Stadium just yet [MSNBC]

It’s getting a heck of a lot worse for Brandon Marshall. Unemployed and now he has two separate criminal cases pending [Complete Colorado via Ben Mailer]

Here’s a hint, don’t black out your windows, you maybe pulled over [Daily News Los Angeles via Ben Mailer]

Oh, Gary Coleman! [People]

The Paddywagon

A bit light on links today, apparently everyone’s been on the straight and narrow, ok not everyone:

Jonathan Roy son of Hall of Famer Patrick Roy has pleaded not guilty to bashing another team’s goalie for no reason. I mean, since when has beating people up in hockey been a crime? I thought that’s what the sport was built on. Well that and skates...and ice... [ESPN]

Maybe this will teach Brazil to stop sucking in the Olympics! [MSNBC Sports]

I remembered not wanting to be on the bowling team in high school because it was completely uncool, but now I have another reason [Electric New Paper via Sports by Brooks]

Actual headline: Man accused of being fake lawyer won’t defend self [AP]

a popo raid

The Oakland Raiders probably regret giving defensive end Tommy Kelly that $50.5 million contract this year after he was pulled over by the popo for suspicion of DUI on Monday. Kelly was reportedly booked at Oakland’s Glenn E. Dyer Detention Facility and later released.

Calls made to both Kelly’s agent and the Raiders have not been returned but I’m guessing they're probably thinking, “Thank goodness you did this after we signed that big contract, Tommy” Or “Instead of firing Lane Kiffin, we can just add sober driver to his list of duties, that way when another one of our players gets arrested, we can just say it was all Kiffin’s fault and fire him.”

Watch out Tommy, because the popo are on your tail!

(Photo: Paul Chinn/Chronicle; source)

The Paddywagon

Here are a few links:

Justin Tuck's iPod is missing [AOL Fanhouse]

Speaking of missing, the mystery of the missing gold medal has been solved [TMZ]

Duke University's lawyers are not afraid to tell the truth [Lion in Oil]

Marcus Vick's reign as the good Vick son could be waning [SI]

Crazy Popo Story of the Day: Australian popo minster had a bit too much fun at an office party [Yahoo! News]

I hope this isn’t in the cards for David Tyree

Former New York Giants star Mark Ingram will be sentenced on Tuesday. He is facing up to 10 years in prison for bank fraud and money laundering. Ingram laundered $200,000 believed to be from drug deals and cashed $300,000 worth of fraudulent checks, which he plead guilty to in 2005. Wow three years to sentence someone, is our legal system getting more efficient or what? Apparently during that time he tried to revoke his plea and hired and fired at least three court appointed lawyers.

Ingram was a member of the 1991 Super Bowl winning Giants and is best remembered for catching a key pass on the way to New York’s 20-19 win.

Watch out Mark, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

UPDATE: He asked for leniency and the judge gave him 92 months (7 years, 8 months) in jail with up to five years of probation and $252,000 in restitution fines. He had been facing a maximum of 10 years in the slammer, so I guess it could have been worse. Too bad his reformist claims did not match up with his rap sheet. (Seven convictions over 23 years)

Kimmy gives a whole new meaning to the word serve

Olympic silver medalist Kim Willoughby pleaded not guilty to a charge of first-degree assault in connection with a December 16, 2006 incident. The All-American volleyball player allegedly followed Sara Daniel out of the Pipeline Café in Honolulu and assaulted Ms. Daniel so severely that she suffered bone fractures from the attack. Ms. Willoughby’s lawyer categorical denies that accusation and claims that instead Kim was just trying to defend herself.

The charge of first degree assault carries a maximum of 10 years in prison.

Unfortunately, this is not Kimmy’s first brush with the law. In 2001, she was charged with domestic abuse and entered deferred guilty pleas to one count of abuse of a household member and one count of third degree assault. After writing a letter and completing her court-ordered community service the charges were dropped. Too bad there weren’t also court-ordered anger management classes, because it seems like girlfriend has some serious issues with controlling her rage.

Watch out Kim, because the popo are on your tail.
(Photo: Kaleo; source)

The Paddywagon

Here are some links from the past couple of days:

Bed knobs and broomsticks are fun in movies, not as much fun when used in hazing. [The Smoking Gun]

If you’re a reader of my other blog, Popo in my Crib, you’ll know my summer long fascination with the Rampage Jackson case. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any weirder, these photos were posted. [TMZ]

Lawyer Milloy really knows how to celebrate a loss. [AOL Fanhouse]

The Yankees got some shady tax breaks on their new Stadium? Around the same time they were raising money for Rep. Charles Rangel no less. Something smells fishy. [New York Daily News via Ben Mailer]

Last week, I mentioned the off the field issues Virginia QB Peter Lalich was having. It seems that cost him his starting spot against Uconn on Saturday. [Truth & Rumors]

Witchcraft at a soccer game? [Popo in my Crib]

Apparently the Lunch Table is Not Neutral

South Carolina and University popo are investigating a claim that five members of its football team were involved in a fracas during lunch at the food court in Russell House on campus. The players in question are receiver C.C. Whitlock, offensive lineman Terrence Campbell, defensive lineman Melvin Ingram and defensive backs Akeem Auguste and Antonio Allen. It seems none of the players were injured; however there is no word on the status of any other students who may have also been mixed up in the altercation, because it’s probably not good news.

The players involved are not likely to be subjected to any disciplinary action from the team, but that doesn’t mean the popo will not act differently, so watch out C.C., Terrence, Mevlin, Akeem and Auguste, because the popo are on your tail!

(source)

Not all sunny in LA

Southern Cal may have just embarrassed Ohio State, 35-2 on Saturday, but its their cornerback Shareece Wright who should really be embarrassed. Wright was charged with felony resisting the popo after being detained at a party in Colton last weekend. The party was for a friend who was being deployed to Iraq. Unlike several others, he was not arrested at the scene, but he was later charged.

The University says it does not plan to discipline the Junior, saying “We went through the whole thing. We understand what happened.” Unfortunately, the popo are not as understanding, watch out Shareece, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: USC; source)

UPDATE: USC has yet to decide what to do with Shareece Wright after the cornerback entered a not guilty plea on Wednesday to one count of resisting the popo at a friend’s going away party in his hometown of Colton. In the wake of the plea, more light has been shined on the incident. As previously reported, the party was thrown in honor of his friend Luis Alvarado who was being deployed to Iraq on Wednesday. The popo arrived at the house in response to a complaint about the noise level of the party. While three people were arrested and apparently one person was tasered (did you really need a taser?), Wright was not charged until after the incident because he refused to leave his friends house. Apparently Wright had a suspended license and admitted to have been drinking. From the facts at hand, it kind of seems like Wright is being charged for doing the right thing. Would you prefer him to drive while intoxicated with a suspended license or stay the night at a friend’s house? Although, was there no one there to give him a ride home? (source)