Not Daly!

The PGA have suspended PIMC-Blotter’s 2008 Golfer of the Year John Daly for six months because of his conduct over the year which included spending a night in jail after a very exciting trip to Hooters and a minor incident involving a fan's camera and a tree. Upon hearing of his suspension Daly responded with this quote: “[It’s] not fair in reality, but it's probably fair in perception." Ok, I guess.
(Photo: Reuters; source)

Urlacher’s Baby’s Mamma is a class act

The mother of Brian Urlacher’s son was arrested and was being held for contempt of court after she failed to make any payments on the $11 million judgment against her for making false sexual assault accusations against Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance. Seriously you tried to go after the Riverdance guy?

At the time of Tyna Robertson’s arrest, two children, a girl and Urlacher’s son Kennedy were present. The girl was being taken care of by a family member while Urlacher picked up his son on Monday morning.

This is just one blip in a long line of bad press for Ms. Robertson, mostly created by her. Earlier this year, she felt it point to alert the media that Urlacher allowed their son to wear pink diapers and paint his nails like his sisters. Because we all care that big bad Brian Urlacher has a soft side. And two years ago, the pair was ordered by a judge to go to parenting classes.

Isn’t it funny that people that should never procreate have tons of children and people that should procreate can’t even get pregnant? That must be some kind of knock on Darwin’s theory or something.
(source)

Say Uncle

A fan jumped out of the stands and tackled Junior Seau during the middle of the fourth quarter of the Patriot's 41-7 dismantling of the Cardinals on Sunday. 31-year-old Todd Kobus of Attleboro, MA was charged with trespassing and assault and battery for his insane actions.

Good call kid, go after the guy that’s like four times your size. A guy that has made a career out of smashing men the size of bulldozers into the ground so hard their bodies make imprints into the grass. “Death wish” is right!

Watch out Todd, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: Matthew Sweet/Boston Herald; source)

Truly a Rebel

Mississippi Men’s Basketball Coach Andy Kennedy was arrested early Thursday morning and charged with assault after he allegedly punched a 25 year old cab driver while shouting racial slurs. The victim reportedly incurred a swollen left face during the one sided affair. What did this kid do? Take you the long way to the hotel so he could charge you more money on something you would just expense later?

Along with Coach Kennedy, William Armstrong, Mississippi’s coordinator of basketball operations, was also arrested although his direct connection to the assault is not known.

Kennedy was scheduled to sit down with athletic director Pete Boone in a downtown Cincinnati hotel to discuss his future on Thursday, the same day the Rebels will take on Louisville. If it is decided that Kennedy should not coach, assistant Michael White will take over.

Well I guess Kennedy is coaching the right team if he is spending his down time beating up cab drivers and such.

Watch out Andy, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: Getty Images; source)

UPDATE: This story is getting saucy. Coach Kennedy has filed a law suit against his alleged victim for more that $25,000. In the suit he claims the statements made by the cab driver Mohamed Moctar Ould Jiddou defame his character and may make it difficult for him to get another head coaching job. Do you know something about your job security that we don’t?
(source)

The Magic of Drinking Too Much

I’ll admit every once and again when I driving home and it’s late at night and I’m stuck at a stop light and I’m the only car for miles, I think to myself, "If I ran this red light would it matter?" Of course I would run through the red light and then the popo would appear from the bushes and give me a ticket, which is the main reason why I’ve never done it, but I always ponder. And sometimes when I am running late and I see the light turning from green to yellow, I slam on the gas to beat the red light. I admit I’ve done that once or twice. But never have I driven through a gas station driveway to avoid a red light. But then again, I’ve also never driven home drunk. I know, such a square.

Something I learned from health class in 10th grade was that when you’re drunk, your thinking is sometimes impaired. Take for example Giants offensive lineman Kareem McKenzie. The big guy was pulled over in Little Falls, NJ on November 13th and charged with driving under the influence, reckless driving, driving with an expired registration and driving on private property to avoid a traffic signal. The popo said the dead giveaway was when they spotted McKenzie cutting through the Coastal Gas Station to continue on Main street. If it’s not driving too slow or weaving erratically it’s driving through private property to avoid the red light that will get you everytime. Kareem is expected to appear in Little Falls Municipal Court on Wednesday to answer to these charges.

But first Kareem, Watch out, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: giants.com; source)

Is that Coke in your system? Or are you just glad you won something?

I must have missed that part of drug education in the 10th grade that said cocaine could be used as performance enhancing drug. I always figured it would hinder your athletic ability, but there I go again being all naïve about drugs and stuff. Turns out, it can help you win things, like the giant slalom during the Italian junior championships.

Skier Mirko Deflorian was banned 18 months by the Italian Olympic Committee following a positive test for cocaine. The test was administered just a day after he had won the event. I guess maybe it was used during his post race celebration instead of before his big win. In any event, the 28 year old with have a year and half to get back on the straight and narrow if he wants to beat up on the kids at the junior meets. Anyone else find if funny that the Italians allow people over the age of 21 to compete in junior meets?

Watch out Mirko, because the popo are on your tail!

(source)

Gee thanks, like banks really need to deal with this crap

Like we’re not suffering enough from defaulted mortgages by well intentioned but in the end over-their-head barrowers, we get asses who are taking advantage of the very frail banking systems. Guys like former Kentucky basketball star Dirk Minniefield who was recently charged with one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud and eight counts of wire fraud as a part of a $10 million scheme in the Houston area.

The indictment alleges Minniefield was a real estate agent in fraudulent home loans designed to secure payments for expensive upgrades that were never performed. The indictment says he represented buyers even though he never met them and they never visited the properties they were supposedly buying.

Minniefield also is accused of contacting the sellers' agents to propose language that would increase the sales prices of homes by including a substantial payment for the renovations.

If found guilty, he faces up to 20 years in jail and a fine of up to $250,000. Plus the government would like that $10 million he and three other illegally obtained.

Hmm...maybe congressmen from Texas need to be more concerned about schemes like these and less about the BCS.

Watch out Dirk, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photo: bigbluehistory.com; source)

Your mamma was not kidding

Remember when you’re mother told you, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” It seems 16 people in England failed to get the message, after yelling racist and homophobic chants towards Portsmouth defender Sol Campbell in September. Too bad they didn’t keep their big mouths shut, because the popo have come a calling. They have reportedly taken a 28 year old man from Ringwood, Hampshire into custody and intend to find the other 15 foul mouthed football fans.

"Our inquiry is aimed at identifying and putting before the court those individuals who engaged in unacceptable behavior at this public event.

"Their abuse caused distress to some supporters and was targeted at an individual.

"We want to send a clear message that abuse of this kind will not be tolerated and that we are taking robust action,” said Superintendent Neil Sherrington.

Under the Football Offenses Act 1991, any fan can be punished with a fine of up to 1,000 pounds and or be banned if they are caught yelling anything indecent or racist at a football match.

Judging from my many sporting event experiences, I don’t think the US has any such laws!

Watch out foul mouthed loses, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

Laptops can be just as bad as Facebook

Former NHLer Jere Karalahti was found guilty in a Finnish court and fined $1,900 for drug use in 2007. Karalahti was caught when a photo on a friend’s laptop revealed a white powdery substance in his nose. He must have had a terrible lawyer, if he was getting pinned off of a photo. It could have been any number of things, a smashed up Tylenol, powdered sugar, cocaine. But unfortunately Jere was just too darn drunk to remember the night, or so his statement said and therefore was unable to properly defend himself.

But alas, this is just a small blip on his criminal filled radar screen, which includes a drug trafficking charge (which he’s awaiting an appeal on his sentencing).

However, you may remember Jere from his stint in the NHL, which came to a close in 2002 after his third violation of the league’s substance abuse policy. Gee, never would have guessed a guy that got caught so often in the NHL would ever get arrested and thrown in jail on drug charges. Oh, wait, I totally saw that one coming.

Watch out Jere, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

A Reminder to Plaxico Burress

You know the great thing about football contracts, Plax, they’re not guaranteed. So if you’re dumb enough to carry an unlicensed concealed weapon and then shoot yourself with it, your team, say the New York Giants, can cut your ass and never have to pay you a cent. Especially since they continue to win without you on the field.

But for whatever reason, they’ll continue to pay you for the remainder of the season, even though you’ll be physically unable to play for a bit, but come February, after the Super Bowl has been played, don’t be surprised if the team decides to ship you out like they did with Jeremy Shockey, who only complained about his time with the Giants, he never allegedly did something illegal. Or maybe they’ll just cut you outright, if you’re odd behavior continues, because frankly if the Giants continue to roll past their opponents like they have these past 11 out of 12 weeks, I don’t see a reason for them to keep you around.

So the next time you feel the need to pack heat because the amount of bling you’re wearing seems like an open target to the patrons at the Latin Quarter, step back from the situation and think to yourself, is it worth it? Because I’m sure Michael Vick will tell you, nothing this petty is worth losing your football career and your freedom.

Watch out Plaxico, because the popo are on your tail!

(Photo: Jeff Zelevanksy/Getty Images)

Aussie Swimmer may want to think about taking up Boxing for 2012

Australian swimmer Nick D’Arcy pleaded guilty to charges of recklessly causing grievous bodily harm in connection with his assault on fellow swimmer Simon Cowley in a bar on March 30th. The incident cost D’Arcy a spot in the Beijing Olympics and maybe some of his free time depending on his sentencing.

According to D’Arcy’s lawyer the story went a little something like this:

"It is true that there was a physical altercation between Simon Cowley and my client whereupon, without any warning, Simon Cowley slapped my client to the face. Cowley then, intending to introduce himself, approached my client, shortly thereafter, and my client, fearing another strike, responded by punching Cowley to the face."

What a horrible way to introduce yourself. "Slap you're it. By the way, I'm Simon." The only way that works on TV is if you’re Linda Evans on Dynasty.

Cowley received five titanium plates fitted for facial fractures to his jaw, eye socket, hard palate, cheek bone and nose as a result of D’Arcy’s handy work. Honey, I think you’re in the wrong sport. If your hands are basically lethal weapons, you may want to give boxing a try for the London games in 2012. Maybe you’ll have better luck making the team. Call it practice or something.

D’Arcy has maintained his innocence, claiming self-defense, all-be-it using excessive force, but honestly he didn’t mean to kick this kid’s ass. He is currently awaiting his sentencing trial in February and faces a maximum of 10 years in prison.

Watch out Nicky, because the popo are on your tail!

(Photo: Herald Sun; source)

Christian Schools are dangerous

Just ask Michael Buster. Mikey was visiting Charleston Southern University earlier in the month when he was robbed at gun point TWICE in three days. The second incident involved four CSU football players who have since been charged in connection with the armed robbery.

Buster was seated in the car with Riana Bishop, waiting for Andrew Hall, the owner of the car, to finish class. All of sudden, two men got into the back seat of the car. One of them, Ronald Blander, who was wearing a ski mask, allegedly demanded cash, while the other Samuel Baptiste held a gun to Buster’s head. The pair then forced Buster to drive to the nearby Atlantic Palms apartments where they made off with about $30. Seriously, you’re going to get your ass thrown in prison for 10-15 over $30 in cash. Dude, you could have robbed some kid at the ATM with a Butterfinger and gotten more than $30!

Oh wait, maybe you already robbed some kids at the ATM two days before. You see the first incident for Buster happened when he was sitting in the exact same car with Andrew Hall. (You know the guy he was waiting for during the second attack.) Seems two men knocked on their window and demanded the pair drive them to an ATM. When they got there, the two soon to be convicts robbed Buster and Hall and took off.

Students at the Christian school aren’t particularly shocked by the news, especially since this isn’t the first armed robbery on campus this semester.

"It's not really surprising, a lot of people might think it's surprising because it's a Christian school, oh, they're protected from all that stuff, but I mean, we're still in the world like everybody else," Bentley Christmas, a CSU student athlete said.

Earlier in the year, a student was robbed at gunpoint in his Russell Mills dormitory. The alleged perpetrator was a former student.

CSU’s football coach Jay Mills said he was very disappointed in his players, who have since been suspended by the school.

Two other football players, Zachery Hillery and Tyrone Lattimore are said to have been involved with the on campus robbery.

Remind me to avoid North Charleston.

Watch out Sammy, Ronnie, Zach and Ty, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photos: Post and Courier; source)

Well this will put a damper on buying the Cubs

If his loud mouth dancing queen persona wasn’t enough, this whole insider trading thing will probably prevent Mark Cuban from buying the Chicago Cubs. Although when you’re dealing with the SEC, I doubt the Cubs are prominently placed on your mind.

According to the civil lawsuit filed on Monday by the Securities and Exchange Commission, Cuban allegedly used insider information to avoid a loss of more than $750,000 by selling his stake in Mamma.com Inc.

If Martha Stewart can be a lesson to anyone, it’s that a $750,000 loss is better than six months lost at Camp Cupcake when you’re worth double the GDP of Belize.

Watch out Mark, because the popo are on your tail!
(Source; Photo: AP/Bill Haber)

John Daly adds to his legend

I’m sorry, but Tiger Woods kind of bores me. And do you know why? Because he doesn’t smoke on the course. Because he's more likely to end up Oprah than on say Country Fried Home Videos. Because he's probably hanging out with Justin Timberlake right now and not Kid Rock. And he damn sure will probably not get thrown in the drunk tank after having too much fun at Hooters. No Tiger Woods is too busy going to corporate affairs, baseball games and charity events to go down to the local Hooters and enjoy the hot wings or whatever.

Oh, but not John Daly. He apparently had all the time in the world to go over Winston-Salem’s finest eatery, get so drunk that he passed out, scaring the scantily clad help who called for medical help, which he refused before being taken to the Forsyth County Law Enforcement Detention Center for a 24 hour stay to sober up. And that my friends is why I love John Daly!

Oh but John, Watch out, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

Things not to say in an airport

1. This bomb in my bag sure is heavy

2. Don’t you just love my new Osama is my Homeboy shirt?

3. It’s amazing what you can do with a razor blade these days.

4. Ricky Williams gave me that as present from his trip to Amsterdam.

5. Whatever U.S. Amateur winner Danny Lee said to get his ass detained in a New Zealand airport.
(source)

Glad I’m not living in China

As I continually mention, I’m from New Jersey. One thing New Jersey does well, besides gravity defying spiky hair, unnatural orange glow and taylor ham is corruption. Even the Garden State doesn’t deal with public officials like China. No instead of throwing them into ladies prisons (minimum security country club jails not actual ladies prisons) like we do in New Jersey or you know re-elect said official (because this isn’t Washington DC) China assigns the death penalty. Yeah that’s right, you do one small tiny little thing like take $1 million in bribes for favorable contract awards related to development of Beijing for the Olympics and you get sentenced to death….well a suspended death sentence, if that makes it any better.

A former Beijing vice mayor in charge of overseeing Olympic construction projects has been given a suspended death sentence for corruption.

The Intermediate People's Court in Hengshui, a city outside Beijing, delivered the sentence Saturday after finding Liu Zhihua guilty of taking bribes.

At the time of Liu’s bribe taking, he was in charge of urban development in Beijing overseeing the $40 billion the city spent on Olympics-related infrastructure. But then things got a little hairy. He apparently was pocketing $1 million for himself and then was setting up his mistress for life as well.

Liu faced 10 charges for allegedly accepting bribes totaling about $1 million and gifts in return for favors to property development companies while he was vice mayor

Liu was also convicted of helping his mistress, Wang Jianrui, profit from construction projects.

Liu of course is claiming this is some sort of set up. That a company that did not receive a contract from his office is upset and trying to bring him down.

Liu claimed in court that the case was an act of retaliation by a property developer who wanted to have Liu removed because of a dispute over a commercial and residential development across the street from several Olympic venues.

Unhappy over the outcome, the building's developer sought to punish Liu by reporting his extramarital affair and other alleged improper dealings to authorities.

This is so the plot of movie. Kind of like Broke Down Palace but hopefully not as frustrating. I mean who signs something like a confession written in a language you don’t understand, Kate Beckinsale? And then who decides that they’d rather rot in a third world country’s jail and let their moronic friend who signed said confession go free, Claire Danes? And if I’m giving away the ending, well consider yourself lucky that you didn’t sit through 2 hours of that crap!

Watch out Liu, because the popo are on your tail!
(source)

My favorite part of the TCU/BYU Game

...When the students got arrested.

(Photo: Getty Images)

Good News, Mr. Canseco, It’s A Girl!

Jose Canseco was detained by boarder patrol for almost 10 hours after a search of his vehicle uncovered fertility drugs, human chorionic gonadotropin, which is illegal for males without a prescription. (Apparently the stuff helps produce testosterone lost in steroid users.) His popo enforced hold up occurred at the San Ysidro boarding crossing on Thursday. What is this research for book number 3, Arrested?

While Mr. Canseco has yet to be charged,

a spokeswoman for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, Virginia Kice, said Canseco was ordered to appear in federal court in San Diego "related to an alleged smuggling violation"

Watch out Jose, because the popo are on your tail!

(source)

Underage Drinking: A National Concern

It’s been a hell of a two months for the University of Northern Iowa and they have decided to do something about it. In less than eight weeks members of the football, men’s basketball, men’s track, softball, baseball and women’s swimming teams have been picked up by the popo, including a windfall during the weekend of September 13th when 14 athletes were charged with underage drinking.

“We had a bad weekend last month with some underage drinking and we are responding to it with suspensions, as well as community service.”

Apparently kids get quite rowdy when there is no football.

Along with the underage drinking, there have also been arrests for DUI, possession of drug paraphernalia and good old theft culminating in two guilty pleas and counting.

Watch out athletes of UNI, because the popo are all over your tails!
(source - and yes, I totally stole that title from an episode of "It's Always Sunny")

The Paddywagon

Hop inside my new favorite cons:

Mystery of the broken water pipe to remain unsolved [Fannation]

Mohawks are apparently inappropriate for school-aged children [Big League Stew]

Pete Rose arrested? No not that Pete Rose! [WDBJ7]

Willie D. Clark was indicted on charges related to the murder of Denver Bronco Darrent Williams [Fox Sports]

This one's for my brother: Nate Miles could be back at UConn [AOL Fanhouse]

Who knew south bend was such a haven for crime [Rumors & Rants via Awful Announcing]

How did I miss this? Tony Stewart hosted a "jail and bail" charity event [From the Marbles]

When did cheerleading become theatrical? [The Big Lead]

Moron of the day: Witnesses identify truck used in a bank robbery by Earnhardt, Jr. sticker. [Orlando Sentinel]