Aussie Swimmer may want to think about taking up Boxing for 2012

Australian swimmer Nick D’Arcy pleaded guilty to charges of recklessly causing grievous bodily harm in connection with his assault on fellow swimmer Simon Cowley in a bar on March 30th. The incident cost D’Arcy a spot in the Beijing Olympics and maybe some of his free time depending on his sentencing.

According to D’Arcy’s lawyer the story went a little something like this:

"It is true that there was a physical altercation between Simon Cowley and my client whereupon, without any warning, Simon Cowley slapped my client to the face. Cowley then, intending to introduce himself, approached my client, shortly thereafter, and my client, fearing another strike, responded by punching Cowley to the face."

What a horrible way to introduce yourself. "Slap you're it. By the way, I'm Simon." The only way that works on TV is if you’re Linda Evans on Dynasty.

Cowley received five titanium plates fitted for facial fractures to his jaw, eye socket, hard palate, cheek bone and nose as a result of D’Arcy’s handy work. Honey, I think you’re in the wrong sport. If your hands are basically lethal weapons, you may want to give boxing a try for the London games in 2012. Maybe you’ll have better luck making the team. Call it practice or something.

D’Arcy has maintained his innocence, claiming self-defense, all-be-it using excessive force, but honestly he didn’t mean to kick this kid’s ass. He is currently awaiting his sentencing trial in February and faces a maximum of 10 years in prison.

Watch out Nicky, because the popo are on your tail!

(Photo: Herald Sun; source)

Christian Schools are dangerous

Just ask Michael Buster. Mikey was visiting Charleston Southern University earlier in the month when he was robbed at gun point TWICE in three days. The second incident involved four CSU football players who have since been charged in connection with the armed robbery.

Buster was seated in the car with Riana Bishop, waiting for Andrew Hall, the owner of the car, to finish class. All of sudden, two men got into the back seat of the car. One of them, Ronald Blander, who was wearing a ski mask, allegedly demanded cash, while the other Samuel Baptiste held a gun to Buster’s head. The pair then forced Buster to drive to the nearby Atlantic Palms apartments where they made off with about $30. Seriously, you’re going to get your ass thrown in prison for 10-15 over $30 in cash. Dude, you could have robbed some kid at the ATM with a Butterfinger and gotten more than $30!

Oh wait, maybe you already robbed some kids at the ATM two days before. You see the first incident for Buster happened when he was sitting in the exact same car with Andrew Hall. (You know the guy he was waiting for during the second attack.) Seems two men knocked on their window and demanded the pair drive them to an ATM. When they got there, the two soon to be convicts robbed Buster and Hall and took off.

Students at the Christian school aren’t particularly shocked by the news, especially since this isn’t the first armed robbery on campus this semester.

"It's not really surprising, a lot of people might think it's surprising because it's a Christian school, oh, they're protected from all that stuff, but I mean, we're still in the world like everybody else," Bentley Christmas, a CSU student athlete said.

Earlier in the year, a student was robbed at gunpoint in his Russell Mills dormitory. The alleged perpetrator was a former student.

CSU’s football coach Jay Mills said he was very disappointed in his players, who have since been suspended by the school.

Two other football players, Zachery Hillery and Tyrone Lattimore are said to have been involved with the on campus robbery.

Remind me to avoid North Charleston.

Watch out Sammy, Ronnie, Zach and Ty, because the popo are on your tail!
(Photos: Post and Courier; source)

Well this will put a damper on buying the Cubs

If his loud mouth dancing queen persona wasn’t enough, this whole insider trading thing will probably prevent Mark Cuban from buying the Chicago Cubs. Although when you’re dealing with the SEC, I doubt the Cubs are prominently placed on your mind.

According to the civil lawsuit filed on Monday by the Securities and Exchange Commission, Cuban allegedly used insider information to avoid a loss of more than $750,000 by selling his stake in Mamma.com Inc.

If Martha Stewart can be a lesson to anyone, it’s that a $750,000 loss is better than six months lost at Camp Cupcake when you’re worth double the GDP of Belize.

Watch out Mark, because the popo are on your tail!
(Source; Photo: AP/Bill Haber)